Forgiveness – as simple and as challenging as preferring relationship, connection, love – over anything else.

I have been listening to the astounding gentleness of Richard Rohr in the mornings and I’m so touched by his invitation to how we might consider what forgiveness is. 

Tied into this theme is a beautiful and quenching definition of God as community, connection, imperfection and relationship. 

And so to forgive is to prefer relationship, togetherness. And when we make a deep intention for relationship to win above all else, we can glimpse and practice forgiveness. 

When I forgive, I’m saying I prefer relationship with you rather than being right. When I forgive I’m saying I see the truth in you as I see it in me. When I forgive I come home to myself and allow you to do the same. 

It’s saying that this time, I will let you off for the mistake you made. And I’m going to do it again and again. And live like that. And see what it does for my life as well as yours. 

This isn’t being walked all over. It takes strength to forgive and to dwell in and continually return to our hearts. Our hearts where true compassion lies. And where connection and relationship are born from. 

Because we forgive someone doesn’t mean we need to live with them. Because we forgive ourselves doesn’t mean we have to keep doing the thing that undermines our life. On the contrary. Forgiveness frees us up to make choices with a clear heart and mind, knowing we are filled with the truth of one another. 

So today I declare. I prefer relationship with you, with myself – rather than being right about anything I think of you or me. And I make that choice. 

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