I have a friend who says that hanging out with me and my husband gives her the feeling that ‘everything’s going to be alright’. I’m sure not because it’s all perfect (we fight like mad people lots), or that we’re particularly positive people (I’ve become pretty straight forward over the years and so has my husband!) – but maybe because we actually gain strength and well being from the field that’s created between others. Another way we walk one another home, right here in front of us…….
As children we lived in the field of our parents’ relationship (as adults we still do), we got invited into the field of their love when we were conceived, we were hurt when they shouted at each other (we still are). There’s lot to say for what effect others’ relationships with one another have on us as people. I know when I’m in the room and others are fighting, the conflict doesn’t only affect them – it affects me too.
In the press at the moment, the relationship between Barack and Michelle Obama gives the world hope. Who they are to each other affects us, it’s interesting to us, has us feel like the world is not over when it feels like hard things are happening, which to some of us feel like the end of the world.
I can feel as we lead our year long programs and as I spend time with others; when I’m with my sister, my Mum, my husband, that it has a deep impact on the folks sharing space with us. When there’s a deeply intimate relationship in the field – and others feel held by the relationship itself, rather than the individual humans, beautiful things can unfold.
This is part of my exploration into the field of relationship. Relationship being what’s made because you and I are here. What if that field is erupting with intelligence, with life, with answers to deep questions about what it is to be human ? And what if we let the field speak ?
In addition to this, when things are hard in life, the people around us, how they love us, and see us matters – we live inside the connections we have with one another. And this is not about liking people, or people liking us – there’s literally a unique and unifying field that exists between each and every one of us which has us know ourselves, our true nature – I am me because of who you are, I am me because of who you are to each other and I am me because of who I am to you.
The strengthening and remembering of this field is what I feel my life is for. In coaching, this is what’s made possible. In marriage, this is what’s made possible. In sisterhood this is what’s made possible. In friendship, this is what’s made possible. In partnership this is what’s made possible. In parenting, this is what’s made possible. In Auntydom, this is what’s made possible.